Chapter 86: What Exactly Do You Like About Me?

I mean every word of it. I have never given my heart to any woman before. Only you can fill me with joy and grief, with hurt and pain, make me want to stay at your side at every moment of every day. So do not hurry to refuse me, all right? I know you are still young, and perhaps you cannot accept it at once, but I will wait for you.

Jin'er looked into his steadfast, tender eyes and felt a strange stirring of emotion in her heart. Yet for some reason, a crimson figure suddenly rose in her mind: the proud man who had once declared that in two years she would become his woman.

She did not know how he was faring now, or whether he was still in County Prefecture.

"Jin'er? Jin'er?"

Jin'er came abruptly back to herself. Seeing Qingyue looking at her in confusion, she quickly lowered her gaze, somewhat guilty.

To think that while Qingyue was confessing to her, she had actually been thinking of another man, and so absorbed in it too. If he knew, who could say how deeply he would be hurt?

Wait. Perhaps she had thought of a way to put an end to his hopes.

"Qingyue," Jin'er said, lifting her head to look at him with unusual seriousness, "actually, I already have someone in my heart."

Sure enough, the moment those words fell, Qingyue went still. Then sorrow spread across his face in a way that made one ache for him.

Yet Jin'er could only harden her heart and pretend not to see it. Better a brief pain than a long one. Qingyue was a good man; she did not want him to be hurt, and least of all did she want the one who hurt him to be herself.

They had known each other for only a few days. If she refused him decisively now, she believed he would soon be able to let go of his feelings and seek the happiness that belonged to him.

However, just as she was thinking this, Qingyue spoke with grave composure.

"Does he like you?"

"Hm?" Jin'er looked at him in puzzlement.

"I am asking whether the man you like also likes you," Qingyue said. His face had already regained calm, but the sorrow in his eyes still could not be ignored.

"Uh, that... of course he does," Jin'er answered, slightly stumbling over her words.

"If he likes you, why did he let you fall into such danger all alone? If it were me, I would protect you with my life, even if I had to pay with it! So he is not worthy of having you!"

Jin'er had never before seen Qingyue wear such a look of anger and resolve. Rather than clashing with his delicate beauty, it made him seem even more strikingly masculine.

But if he said things like that, how was she supposed to answer? He really was stubborn beyond reason.

"Ah... Qingyue, can we not talk about this for now? Let me go back first, bring you the antidote, and then we can speak of it, all right? I still have many things to do after that, and I truly do not want to discuss matters of the heart right now."

"You do not want to talk about matters of the heart? Then what you said just now was to fool me?" Qingyue had keenly caught hold of the implication and could not help asking with a trace of delight.

Since Jin'er realized she had slipped, she no longer wished to labor over a lie. She simply said plainly, "Yes. I said that to make you give up. But I really do still have many things to do, and they are matters of life and death. So no matter what, I cannot promise you."

Hearing this, Qingyue did not look sad. Instead, he seemed to breathe a quiet sigh of relief.

"I told you, I will wait for you. Your business is my business. I will face it with you and help you through the difficulties," he said solemnly.

Jin'er let out a helpless sigh and raised a hand to press at her temples.

She discovered that he really did have a one-track mind; no matter how she spoke, he still refused to give up.

So be it. Let things take their course.

Drawing a deep breath, Jin'er looked up at Qingyue. "All right. Since you say you will face things with me and help me through the difficulties, if I ask you to do something for me, will you be willing?"

"Of course." By now, light had returned to Qingyue's eyes.

"Then I want you to help me oversee the Ten Thousand Poisons Sect." Seeing his brows lift in surprise, Jin'er turned to gaze at the distant horizon and went on, "The Ten Thousand Poisons Sect counts as a major martial world faction in the Five-Spirit Continent. I want to borrow their strength to investigate certain matters."

"All right. I will spare no effort."

Though he did not yet know the details, though the road ahead seemed difficult, as long as it was what she wanted, he would do his utmost to help her obtain it.

Seeing how resolute he was, Jin'er could not help feeling a flicker of emotion in her heart.

At least. At least she had so many important things to do that she could use them as reasons to avoid certain matters, to avoid certain people. Qingyue, for instance. Or Ye...

Several days later, the leaders of the thirteen branch halls of the Ten Thousand Poisons Sect, summoned in urgency by swift pigeon dispatch, gathered together at the main altar.

Though they had already met her once and had all submitted beneath Jin'er's feet, she could still see in their eyes that they remained somewhat unconvinced.

Still, with the Blood-Devouring Dissolving Powder holding them in check, she knew they would not dare make any move for the time being.

After some deliberation, Jin'er ordered them to strengthen the sect, establish an intelligence network, and begin quietly investigating where the prophecy of the Wood Kingdom had originated, as well as the true identity of Consort Yun in the beginning, and so on.

Though much time had passed, and though the matter had always been mysterious and elusive, she thought that with so many people looking into it, it had to be far better than doing it alone.

After leaving the main hall, Jin'er turned to the White Commander, who had followed close behind her, and said, "White Commander, please pay close attention to the investigation into the Wood Kingdom prophecy. As for the Gold Kingdom, you may intensify the search there."

"Your subordinate obeys." The White Commander bowed in assent.

Though at first he had always found it awkward to take orders from such a young girl, truth be told, her manner of speech and conduct when handling affairs bore no trace at all of some thirteen- or fourteen-year-old greenhorn.

He had a faint premonition that before long, this girl would truly make everyone convinced.

That evening after supper, Jin'er once again picked up a leaf and blew a tune, while Qingyue took the initiative to dance for her.

As before, the sound was distant and lingering, the dance graceful and flowing, and both of them cast aside their respective worries and sorrows, savoring the beauty of the moment to the fullest.

After quite some time, Jin'er stopped, yet her gaze remained upon that snow-white figure, a trace of infatuation still lingering in her eyes.

In truth, he really was beautiful, beautiful enough to make women envious and men ashamed, and with such a divine talent for dance that could enrapture her as well, it would be a lie to say she did not like him at all. It was just that the feeling probably remained only at the level of liking.

"You still say you do not like me? Look at you, practically staring in a daze."

At some unknown point, Qingyue had already come before Jin'er and was speaking with a smile that was half teasing, half genuine.

Hearing this, Jin'er finally came to her senses, and her cheeks flushed slightly. "Stop flattering yourself. I was just thinking about something."

"Oh?" Qingyue suddenly reached out to encircle her slender waist, drawing her gently toward him. Lowering his head, he leaned close to her face, his smile full of enchantment. "Really not bewitched by me?"

Jin'er stiffened all over, forced to look up at his devastatingly handsome smile, and felt as if even her breathing was about to stop.

Damn him. Was he using his looks to seduce her?

At this moment, Jin'er could catch the faint fragrance of his body, a very fresh scent. Wherever her eyes fell, his fair face, tempting lips, and high nose were all so exquisite and bewitching, especially those watery, slender phoenix eyes, as though they held endless magic, eager to draw her soul inside.

What little reason she had left could not command her body at all. She could only let herself stand there, dazed and stiff in his embrace.

"I like it when you look at me like that," Qingyue murmured with a faint smile, then kissed her cherry lips without hesitation.

The sensation made Jin'er come to herself. She tried to struggle and push him away, but he held her even more tightly, leaving her no room to break free.

In that instant, she deeply understood that a man was still a man. Even if he were usually gentle to the utmost and always blushed from shyness, when it truly mattered, he would still seize the initiative with the same unflinching force as any bold, virile man.

While she was still thinking, Qingyue had already deepened the kiss, tentatively parting her teeth and slipping inside to tease her tender tongue.

The sudden electric touch at the tip of her tongue made Jin'er give a soft gasp, and her whole body trembled.

Sensing her sensitivity, Qingyue's breathing grew even more ragged, and the arm around her tightened further.

He lifted a hand to cradle the back of her head, giving her no chance to evade him, while the kiss and the teasing of his tongue grew hotter and more fervent still.

Jin'er panted in quick breaths. Her body had gone soft and weak, and she could only remain in his arms, helpless to his teasing, her mind utterly blank.

As though an entire century of kissing had passed, Qingyue finally stopped with evident reluctance.

"Jin'er..."

Looking at the blushing Jin'er before him, Qingyue wished he could possess her at once. But he knew he could not do that yet.

Jin'er, having recovered her senses, felt very remorseful for her behavior just now. She bit her lip and struggled free from Qingyue's arms.

This time, Qingyue let go.

Biting her lip, Jin'er turned away, feeling as though her cheeks were burning.

Damn it, why was her self-control so poor? During the day she had clearly and repeatedly said she did not want to speak of matters of the heart, yet by night she had fallen to his good looks and been made to...

Ugh, how vexing!

While she was silently berating herself, Qingyue came up behind her and gently embraced her.

"Let things take their course, all right? Do not think too much. I will not force you," Qingyue said softly. Then he lowered his head and planted a light kiss on the crown of her hair.

Such an intimate gesture was plainly one that belonged between lovers.

Jin'er closed her eyes, her brows knotted tightly. She wanted very much to push him away hard, put her hands on her hips, and scold him to keep his distance, but... apart from clenching her fists, she could do nothing at all.

Why was she always so reluctant when faced with him?

"What on earth do you like about me?" Jin'er asked, somewhat helplessly.

A slight smile curved Qingyue's lips. Naturally, he used his hand to smooth the long hair the wind had disheveled, while saying, "I like everything about you.

Though I also think feelings came too quickly, I have found myself sinking deeper and deeper. I cannot imagine how I would go on without you.

Originally, I had no more attachments in this world, and at times I even felt as though I were drifting through life without direction. But now it is different. I have suddenly found the meaning of living. Jin'er, I love you. I truly love you."

By the end, Qingyue seemed to grow uneasy. The hands that gently held Jin'er tightened little by little, as though afraid that if he loosened his grip even slightly, she would run away.

Listening to him, Jin'er's heart seemed to tighten, and it was as though something heavy pressed upon her chest, making it hard to breathe.

He was serious. She could almost feel the weight and unease in his heart. But how was she supposed to face that?

Though her soul had lived for more than twenty years, in matters of love she felt no different from an immature child. At the very least, she had never truly loved anyone.

For some reason, that intimate form of address suddenly slipped from her lips before she could stop it.

Qingyue's body stiffened slightly, then quickly recovered. With a trace of nervousness, he softly answered, "Mm," and could not help feeling excited inside.

He loved it when she addressed him like that. Just that single call seemed to bring the distance between them much, much closer.

"I, I really do not know..." After struggling with her thoughts for a long while, she still could not manage to say a complete sentence.

"Jin'er, do not think too much. I will not force you. As long as you... do not drive me away, that will be enough." By the end, Qingyue felt a sharp ache in his heart.

Hearing this, Jin'er closed her eyes and silently felt the warm, gentle embrace behind her, her mind still shrouded in confusion.

Perhaps it would be better for both of them to separate for a while and think things through.

Slowly opening her eyes to look at the few lonely stars in the sky, Jin'er said softly, "Moon, I am leaving tomorrow."

At that, Qingyue's body stiffened faintly, and after a moment he gradually relaxed.

"Come back soon, all right? I will miss you very much."

Jin'er raised a hand to remove his, turned to face him, and looked at the level of his shoulder as she frowned. "Do not miss me. Try to forget me, and just take me as a friend, all right?"

Qingyue's heart tightened slightly, and he unconsciously bit his lower lip.

She wanted him to try to give her up? Then why could she not try to accept him? He could clearly feel that she liked him.

After a long silence, he drew a deep breath, turned to gaze into the darkness of night, and answered in a slightly husky voice, "All right."

Could he truly not think of her? Even now, while merely standing beside her, he already felt a strong longing for her, let alone after they were separated.

It seemed he was truly very much like his father. Once he fell in love, he would only sink deeper and deeper, unable to extricate himself.

Yet his father's tragedy constantly sounded the warning bell in his heart, making him want to heed that man's advice and love boldly on the one hand, while on the other he feared he would end up in the very same state as his father.

Still, fear was one thing; if he were truly asked to make up his mind, turn away from her, and leave her behind, he could not do it. Even the thought of it made him terribly panicked and uneasy.

Perhaps, in the shadows of fate, everything had already been decreed. Rather than suffer this torment and entanglement, it would be better to follow the truest voice of his own heart.

Whatever the future might bring, at least he had tasted love; at least he had treasured memories that belonged only to the two of them. Whether the ending turned out well or ill, it would not be in vain that he had ever walked this world.

The next morning, after Jin'er and Qingyue had breakfast together, she sent for the White Commander and the Chief Steward, Wang Sheng. After a brief set of instructions, she said she would be leaving Green Screen Mountain for a time to prepare the antidote to the Blood-Devouring Dissolving Powder.

"Sect Master, should we send some people to escort you down the mountain?" the White Commander asked.

"No need. Just take care of your own duties. During the time I am away, the Deputy Chief Steward will represent my will. You are to discuss all matters with him, do you understand?" After speaking, Jin'er looked at the White Commander and Wang Sheng. Seeing both of them nod, she then turned to Qingyue.

Qingyue also nodded, signaling her not to worry. After that, Jin'er rose to leave the mountain.

Qingyue stubbornly insisted on escorting her all the way down. Helpless, Jin'er could only let him do as he pleased.

The two walked side by side in silence, the atmosphere strangely heavy.

Along the way, Qingyue kept turning to look at Jin'er but still said not a single word. Only when they reached the foot of Green Screen Mountain did he reach out and grasp her arm.

"Come back soon," he said reluctantly, a faint note of unease in his voice.

Jin'er looked up at him and gently nodded. "Do not forget to take the antidote every day. I am going now." With that, she lifted his hand from her arm and departed without looking back.

A few days earlier, considering there were not enough antidotes left by the Poison Saint for the Blood-Devouring Dissolving Powder, she had deliberately made many more and left them for Qingyue, who was to distribute them to those under the powder's control within the sect. In this way, it would also raise his standing in the Ten Thousand Poisons Sect...

Before she knew it, she had walked a fairly long distance. Jin'er stopped and turned to look back. Far off in the distance still stood a single white figure. It had become too blurred to make out clearly, yet Jin'er seemed still to feel his eyes upon her, full of unwilling parting and longing.

Suppressing a trace of reluctance in her heart, Jin'er turned back and continued onward.

For Qingyue, her departure meant separation; for others, it meant reunion.

After walking a little farther, several figures suddenly sprang out from the bushes beside the road, frightening Jin'er, who had been walking and thinking, so badly that she almost jumped.

"Miss! At last you are down," one of them said.

"Mm, let's go," Jin'er replied, recovering herself. She gave them a light nod and set off with them.

These people had been the ones who had previously escorted Jin'er all the way off the island. During this time, they had remained here every day, ready at any moment to receive her.

Though they had also heard of the upheaval within the Ten Thousand Poisons Sect, they had not gone up the mountain to find Jin'er. On the one hand, they did not wish to expose their identities outside; on the other, they had previously agreed to await her here, so naturally they would not disobey orders on their own.