Chapter Sixty-Two: Lotus of Mourning, Memories of Loss

The silence in the hall was absolute, so profound that even the sound of breathing was clearly audible. As Ji Muyu gazed at Wan Youxue’s radiant, beautiful smile, his heart twisted painfully. In a place where she could not see, a faint, bitter smile unfurled upon his lips.

Xue’er, if you were to learn the truth, would you still nestle so gently in my arms? Would you still smile so happily for me? Would you still weep out of concern for me? Would you still love me as you always have? Would you still… would you still…

Let me cherish you as you are now… The past should remain in the past—what matters most is to treasure the present. Isn’t that so, Xue’er? I hope you won’t hate me once you know everything, all right? Heh…

“Mu, I’m returning to my chambers,” Wan Youxue spoke softly. Ji Muyu replied with a gentle laugh, releasing his hold around her waist. Wan Youxue rose from his embrace, lifted her cup, smiled warmly at him, and carefully descended the stairs.

At the foot of the stairs, reluctant to leave, Wan Youxue turned back and smiled, her voice tender: “Mu, take care of yourself and rest early. I’m going back now.”

Ji Muyu responded with a gentle smile and waved at her, reassuring her that she could go without worry.

Step by step, Wan Youxue walked toward the heavy, grand doors of the hall. As he watched her departing figure, Ji Muyu raised his gaze to the ceiling, letting his thoughts drift. His eyes grew hollow.

A sudden crash shattered the silence, jolting Ji Muyu from his reverie—it was the sound of broken porcelain. He looked quickly towards the entrance. Wan Youxue crouched on the ground, clutching her head, groaning in agony: “It hurts, my head hurts so much, Mu, it hurts, my head feels like it’s about to explode! It hurts, ah!”

The porcelain had slipped from Wan Youxue’s hands. Ji Muyu leapt to her side, gathering her tenderly into his arms. Her head pressed tightly against his chest, and she struggled in distress and pain.

“It won’t hurt, Xue’er. Hold on for a moment, I’ll get medicine right away, and the pain will be gone!” Ji Muyu held her tightly, terrified that she might slip away from him in the next instant. He was afraid—afraid of losing Wan Youxue. Seeing her in such agony, his heart ached with pain and fear.

“Mu, my head hurts so much! Please, kill me! Kill me, I can’t endure this torment any longer. Mu, if it’s for my own good, just kill me!” Wan Youxue raised her tear-filled eyes to Ji Muyu, her voice choked with sobs.

Seeing her succumb once more to despair, Ji Muyu spoke urgently: “Xue’er, just hold on a little longer, it’ll pass. Be good, just endure it for now.”

With his right hand, he quickly gathered half of his strength and placed his palm gently on Wan Youxue’s back, channeling his energy into her body.

A warm current swept through her, and Wan Youxue, who had been convulsing in pain, gradually calmed down. She lay quietly in Ji Muyu’s arms, her eyes filled with tears, gazing at him with a pitiful, fragile expression. Her delicate face was streaked with tears, and she sobbed softly. In that moment, she resembled a fragile porcelain doll.

A trace of disappointment, even despair, flickered in Wan Youxue’s eyes. Yet, as if refusing to surrender, she spoke with stubborn resolve: “Mu, why—why must Heaven treat me this way? What have I done wrong? Is there truly no cure?!”

“Xue’er, let’s not dwell on it, all right? Don’t worry—believe me, I’ll find a way to heal you!” Ji Muyu gently lifted Wan Youxue and carried her toward Xuan Yu Palace.

He freed one hand to smooth the strands of hair from her forehead, tucking them behind her ear with care. His hand patted her back softly, offering comfort, warmth, and strength.

A flash of pain crossed Ji Muyu’s eyes, but he only shook his head and proceeded straight to Xuan Yu Palace.

Wan Youxue buried her head deep in Ji Muyu’s chest, listening to his strong heartbeat, watching his anxious expression, and a warm current flowed through her heart, soothing her pain. The ache in her head seemed to lessen, and she remained quietly in his embrace, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Sensing her movement, Ji Muyu’s steps paused, then resumed as usual.

Outside Xuan Yu Palace, the palace maids bowed their heads as the Emperor hurried in carrying Miss Wan. Only a man in black followed closely behind.

Ji Muyu placed Wan Youxue on the bed, carefully covering her with the quilt, then beckoned to the silent man in black: “Lin.”

The man who had just entered stepped forward and knelt: “Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Lin, crush this pill and mix it with warm water, then give it to Xue’er,” Ji Muyu said, producing a snow-white, pearl-like pill.

Lin looked up and reached out his right hand, catching the pill firmly: “Yes, I will go at once!”

The pill Lin held was Yishang, but it was not truly Yishang, for it lacked a vital ingredient—the most crucial medicinal lead, Shang Lotus. This Yishang was meant to cure Wan Youxue.

Wan Youxue was not taking the complete Yishang; as a result, despite having taken it many times, she had not recovered, and her headaches had only worsened.

Watching Lin carefully feed Wan Youxue the Yishang, Ji Muyu spoke gently: “Xue’er, I’ll be going now. Rest well.”

“Mm,” Wan Youxue replied weakly, her voice barely audible.

Ji Muyu smiled at her, then left Xuan Yu Palace with Lin.

“Respectful farewell to Your Majesty!” At the door, eunuchs and maids knelt in unison.

“Rise. Take good care of Xue’er!” Ji Muyu spoke coldly, his voice softening only when he uttered her name. With a sweep of his imperial robe, he left with Lin following behind.

Ji Muyu walked to a pavilion and stopped, hands clasped behind his back, facing away from Lin. His voice was heavy: “Has the Shadow Envoy Yin Su still not succeeded in refining Yishang?”

Lin knelt with hands clasped, responding steadily: “The Shadow Envoy reports that Shang Lotus has yet to be found, nor has an alternative been discovered. Therefore, there is still no cure.”

“Still nothing…” Ji Muyu murmured, then erupted in anger: “How can there still be nothing! Tell her, if she cannot produce Yishang within three months, she is to leave!”

“Yes!” Lin glanced at Ji Muyu’s troubled, angry face, then rose and departed.

Three months! Heh, it seems even the master knows how rare Shang Lotus is, and that nothing can replace it. Yin Su, I hope you can find Shang Lotus soon.

As the footsteps receded behind him, Ji Muyu looked up at the sky, his eyes glistening. A man’s tears are not easily shed.

“Xue’er, how should I treat you?”

The mighty emperor, in solitude, wept silently.

—Author’s Note—

Several new characters have appeared in the recent chapters; please pay attention. Updates have been late lately, apologies!

Would any lurking readers come out and say hello, just to give Mili some encouragement? Please!

Sob…