Chapter 56: The Golden Privy

Hearing the old man's words, I stopped the foot I had already raised and turned to look at him.

The old man inside the house was slowly lowering the newspaper in his hands.

Only then did I notice that the newspaper the old man was reading was somewhat yellowed, looking like an old newspaper. In contrast, the newspapers displayed outside were quite new.

What a strange hobby. Who reads old news? Can old news even be called news?

He casually took off his reading glasses and looked at me.

I walked over and asked, "Why?"

The old man picked up his nearby cup of brewed tea and chuckled. "Because it's unclean, that's why. Originally, this shop used to be a place for fortune-telling and geomancy, and it's quite old. Later, when the neighborhood committee designated this area for historical preservation, this place was renovated nicely."

"You could say every single shop here was fiercely contested. Whoever got one wouldn't sell it for any amount of money. But that particular shop changed hands every few days simply because there are unclean things haunting it!"

With this final sentence, he lowered his voice and looked at me with a paranoid expression.

A wave of discomfort washed over me.

Why was he trying to scare people like this?

I asked, "And then?"

The old man laughed. "Then the reputation spread. Word got out that the shop was haunted. Before long, nobody dared to buy or rent it, so it stayed vacant. But the owner of the shop was desperate—with such a prime location, he couldn't make a single penny."

"Later on, who knows how he figured it out, but since nobody dared to live there, he decided to use something that didn't require a living person. That's why he set up a twenty-four-hour vending machine inside."

So that was it!

The unclean thing the old man mentioned seemed to be related to supernatural events.

Initially, I had indeed found it strange. Why would a street dedicated to funeral supplies have an adult novelty shop? I had simply assumed city people had peculiar tastes.

Looking at it now, there was definitely something wrong with this shop.

Combined with the owner's abruptly overly enthusiastic reaction earlier, it seemed the shop genuinely had problems eight times out of ten.

I said to the old man, "Thanks for the warning, grandpa."

With that, I turned and left.

The old man said nothing more and resumed reading his newspaper.

When I returned to the shop, the female corpse was gazing intently at something on a compass, looking very serious.

Er Pang was still sleeping. Sometimes I truly admired his capacity for sleep.

I walked over to the female corpse, caught the unique fragrance lingering on her, and looked down at the compass.

I had never seen such a compass before; it must have belonged to the female corpse herself.

"What are you looking at?"

Ignoring my question, she asked without turning her head, "Is the appointment set?"

I immediately replied, "The appointment is set. He'll be here in about ten minutes, but..."

I recalled the old man's warning.

The female corpse frowned slightly. "But what?"

I decided to tell the truth and relayed the old man's words to her.

I originally expected the female corpse to change her mind, but she merely nodded nonchalantly and went right back to studying the compass with total concentration.

Seeing her like this, I could only sigh helplessly.

Since she was powerful, it was normal for her not to fear minor ghosts and goblins. I might as well just stick to being an errand boy.

I walked over to the corner and gave Er Pang's leg a kick.

"Er Pang, wake up. The owner will be here soon, and it won't look good if you're sleeping like this in his shop."

"Hn?"

Er Pang squinted half-open eyes, looked around, and then frowned as he stretched lazily.

"Sleeping on this floor is genuinely uncomfortable. My back is killing me. Can't we spend some money to buy a bed?"

Unbelievable.

Not only were we squatting in someone else's shop for free, but he even wanted to install a bed. Only Er Pang could come up with such an idea. He had completely lost all shame.

We tidied up our belongings and piled them in a corner of the room.

Before long, a loud shout echoed from outside.

"Who the hell is eating sweet potatoes at the entrance of my shop and tossing the peels right here? Do you think there's nobody alive in my shop?"

Mid-sentence, a chubby man in a suit walked in.

Because the doorsill was rather high, it took a great deal of effort for his short legs to cross it. It looked as though his beer belly had to squeeze through first before he could actually step inside.

His face was flushed with a greasy sheen, dripping with oil, giving him a very slick appearance. He looked to be around thirty-five years old.

After stepping inside, he looked the three of us up and down, then asked with a hint of skepticism, "You people... are you the ones interested in my shop?"

He seemed quite doubtful.

The female corpse stood aside in silence, and Er Pang remained groggy, leaving me as the only one who could speak.

I stepped forward with a smile and extended my hand.

My grandfather often said that courtesy costs nothing, and the same applied to spirits and deities.

"Hello, boss. We are the ones who want to buy this shop."

The man did not shake my hand. Instead, he glanced down at my filthy hands.

It wasn't that I lacked hygiene; on the way into the city, I had been playing with ash for half the day, rummaged around on the ground, and hadn't found anywhere to wash my hands upon arrival.

Feeling rather awkward, I withdrew my hand.

"I came in a rush and didn't get a chance to wash."

The man then said, "Little brother, I'm a very busy man. I make tens of thousands a minute, but the moment I heard someone wanted to buy my shop, I rushed right over without stopping. Playing games with me like this isn't funny!"

His tone turned displeased, as if he were ready to curse at any second.

I looked at him in bewilderment. "I'm not playing games with you. We really want to buy it."

The man sneered. "Can you afford it? Let me tell you, kid, our street is a heavily protected prime location. Even a public toilet around here goes for at least this much!"

He used a chubby hand to gesture the number five.

I stared blankly at the gesture.

"Five hundred?"

I instantly remembered I only had about five hundred yuan left in my pocket, and a wave of anxiety washed over me.

"Five hundred? Are you joking with me?!"

With that, he turned around to leave, showing not the slightest intention of wasting another word on me.

I hurriedly reached out and grabbed him.

"Wait, boss, why are you in such a rush to leave? Just name a price, and we'll scrape the money together."

He immediately batted my hand away.

"Don't touch me! What kind of smell is on you?!"

The man took a step back, frowning deeply. "I'm telling you, kid, a toilet here starts at fifty thousand. A storefront as large as ours goes for one hundred eighty-eight thousand, not a single cent less! Do you understand?"

Hearing this, I was completely dumbfounded!

Fifty thousand for an outhouse?!

Were they shitting gold?

It wasn't that I was stupid; I simply lacked worldly experience. In my mind, the outhouse in our village was something we built ourselves. Outdoors, you could just find an empty corner or use a crop field, which even served as fertilizer.

For something so casual to cost fifty thousand yuan completely shattered my concept of money.

Seeing how shocked I was, the man stopped struggling and let out a cold snort.

He told us, "I'm telling you, if you can't afford it, get lost right now. The stench on you guys is affecting my business, you know that?"

With that, he turned to leave.

"A bunch of country bumpkin hicks, what a waste of time!"

Just as one of his feet stepped across the threshold, the voice of the female corpse rang out coldly:

"I'll give you two hundred thousand. Apologize to him right now!"